Tuesday 17 February 2015

Everyone has their number

Before I talk about kids, I want to say please don't think me insensitive to couples that can't have them for whatever reason. Infertility is heart breaking, and couples that struggle with this are very much in my prayers.

Its the half term holidays, and boy was I ready for it. For me its the stress of the mornings in a school week. No one can find their shoes... They are where you left them! laid our by they front door... 
but is just my kids that cant see things right in front of their faces?! My girls just squabble constantly from the minute they get up, winding each other up... into a frenzied chorus of screeching, whining and moaning. Oh my head... I love my little cherubs but I am simply counting the minutes till I hand them over at school after a stressful time getting them ready. Anything with a time restriction seems to make everything feel so pressurized.
With half term, all that is lifted away.... Ahhhh bliss. 
I am also very privileged that my in-laws have one of the girls to stay with them for the week for a little holiday. This is what got me thinking, about how everyone has their number, what I mean is... the amount of children that someone can cope with... that someone is content with. 
We are fortunate to have a lovely variety of friends. we have some... with no children- it simply wasn't for them, some that have one child and that's more than a big enough challenge for them. Two, three or four. I have a very dear friend who has five kids, two dogs and family that live with them all under one roof. She is a super mama, and is always is calm and amazing with her children. 
 For me... it was a difficult journey to have our daughters, one I will share at a later date. I lost two babies to miscarriage, then had three very troublesome pregnancies and births.
We were fortunate to have my first daughter, our second daughter came a bit by surprise (fell pregnant 3 months after having our first!) still our family didn't feel complete. To be honest I found two children easy... you either deal with one child or the other. I was organised, I felt in control... we had the girls in a great routine (including super sleeping) I used to get up half an hour before I knew they'd get up in the morning... shower, make-up on.. ready to go. What difference will one more make? All the difference.


My Girls aged 8 months and 20 months old


Our third daughters pregnancy again proved to be incredibly difficult, we employed a mothers helper to get us through the pregnancy and whilst recovering from my third C-section. 
It just seems for me I always have one child upset,wanting something, lost or running off. The amount of mess, washing and organisation seems to beat me. 
I wouldn't change any of it. But, I've been on catch up ever since. For my girls, 3 is a crowd. It doesn't matter which two are together, they get along... but the third tips the dynamic and the fighting starts. we can't have anymore children.... even though people constantly ask me if I'm going to try for a boy?! I am fortunate to have one daughter let alone three. I felt in control when I had two.. now its more of a 'Keep calm and Carry on' ethos. All you can do is your best, love your kids, be it one or five (or more). When my littlest was born, we had a 2 1/2 yr old, 1 1/2 yr old and a newborn... 
3 under 3. It was EPIC!! 
Daughters aged 4 months, 3 yrs and 2 yrs old
Having this week with my two eldest, is lovely. I feel I have time for them. And also my littlest is getting lots and lots of time and attention from her grandparents. I miss her.
We try and make 'one on one' time for the girls. Every Saturday morning, the girls take turns to choose mummy or daddy to take them out for a drink and cake - normally to Costa and then for a trip round the charity shops, so they get some time out with one of us. They love it!
I remember very clearly after having my first daughter, trying to work out how would I ever get out the house, what would I do if she needed feeding or changing... where do I go? How would I cope?
A few years later, I had three... two in a double buggy, one strapped to my front and a huge backpack on my back facing the big wide world.
Its easy to look at families with fewer children, and think 'they've got it easy'! I'm sure large families look at me and wonder what I am moaning about.
I firmly believe everyone has their number, its never our position to judge or assume.... but to always encourage each other in bringing up our children.

1 comment:

  1. What a lovely post Claire- great image of you juggling all those bubbas in an effort to get out of the house!!

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